Trust

Many of the young people in our care will admit to having issues with trust.

They, of course, aren’t the only ones in our society with such issues.  Honestly, trusting others isn’t always easy for me.

Some might say that we (who have issues with trust) just have to trust, at risk of being let down.
Eventually, this theory goes, we will find someone trustworthy, and on that relationship we can rebuild our ability to trust.

But what about people who are surrounded by untrustworthy people?  How many times must one have one’s trust burned before it is reasonable to give up trying?

The answer (from a Chaplain) is supposed to be that you can always trust in God.  While I believe that true, I also believe it is horribly unfair to ask someone to trust in a God they can’t see when there is no person they can see in whom they can trust.  This is a biblical principle I believe to be true – 1 John 4:20 and John 20:24-29, among others.

How, then, do we restore the ability to trust?

By becoming trustworthy people ourselves.  Whether or not someone else, anyone else, is trustworthy, is beyond our control  Whether we are trustworthy is within our control.

If you, like me, ever have trust issues, let’s work on becoming more trustworthy people.

Trust me, it will help.

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4 thoughts on “Trust

  1. From David Richo’s book *Daring to Trust*: “As we become more adult in how we live life, we do not fear trusting others, but we do remain on our toes. At the same time, though we can’t trust everyone, anyone can trust us if we are living in integrity. To use a simple example: At the public pool, I can hand my wallet to only the one person I know and trust while I go for a swim. But any one of the hundred people can trust me to hold his or her wallet.”

  2. I think our biggest difficulty in this area is that we’ve been led to believe that trusting is something we have to do all by ourselves, as if we are all loners in the face of a cruel world. Sometimes life is easy enough that we can make it for a while on our own. But for most of us we experience times we need others.

    When I do funerals one of the comments I frequently make is that one of the resources God offers us in the face of death is each other. Though when a loved one dies a person’s faith may be at its weakest, that person does not have to stand alone. He or she can lean on the trust/faith of the others around them.

  3. when i joined the Sufi community i was given the name Amin, which the equivalent of Amen, means ‘trustworthy’. When i hear the word ‘amin’ i perk up – I am being called to Trust and be Trustworthy. My teacher Ahmaddin must have had a lot of insight, i never told him i was a thief and a compulsive liar. i try to live up to my name. as a man said to Jesus “help me in my unbelief.”

    I may find it hard to find a single person who will sit w/ me and just let me cry, unless they are getting paid. I saw a priest, or i shd say I saw a man who an old fashioned priest’s costume that made assume he was a priest. I nearly spoke to him while we were on line for coffee. (hey if we both like this coffee despite how slow the barristas are…) I held my tongue. In hindsight i cd have asked for his card, or when he had office hours. people in pain isolate, esp after a lot of rejection.

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